Monday, May 14, 2012

Conforming to Nonconformity

Announcing that you're a nonconformist is the same as telling me that you a conformist.  It's one thing to be unique and be yourself, but it is something else to try really hard to be something that you're not. The real nonconformists in the world never say that they are nonconformists, they just are different, and most people around them stay far away.  The real nonconformists don't try to be nonconformists, they just are.

More and more people I know are trying too hard to be different. Everyone wants to be a free spirit, everyone wants to be original and think differently from those around them, but the truth is this-  trying to be different is what everyone is doing, and has been doing for thousands of years,  so get over it. You are not the first one to see civil injustice, so don't be so proud of yourself for noticing it, you aren't the chosen one or super genius for pointing it out.  You are not the first person to see that things in the world aren't perfect, but going on and on is just annoying sometimes.  If these same people were out volunteering after school, instead of just complaining,  I would respect their opinion, but they aren't looking for the good around them, or contributing to it, they just whine.  If they did as much as they talked, we would have a great world.  Everyone would be Nelson Mandala.

In English class, we are reading a book called Stargirl.  Stargirl is loveable, she is different, unique, and doesn't care what anyone thinks.  She is loud and bubbly and wears crazy clothes.  For a while, everyone around her loves her, but then they just get tired of her.  Stargirl doesn't change when people get tired of her, because she is being herself, but if most people acted like that,  they would stop as soon as people got tired of it because all they really want is attention.  Trying to get a shock factor from everything you do is not being a nonconformist, Stargirl didn't try to get a shock factor, but sometimes she shocked people anyway.

One "nonconformist" told me recently that everything wrong with her life is because she lives in Utah. She said something like, "it is just Utah, the Mormons are the problem because EVERYONE but me is Mormon."   Well,  I just don't think that whatever is wrong with your life is all someone else's fault because of their religion.  And, the truth is, Mormons have a right to be here too.  They were driven out their houses in Illinois and Missouri by gunpoint and WALKED here so they could practice their religion without the threat of violence.  My ancestors took a six week boat trip from England to America and then walked to Utah to farm a piece of desert land.   Ever seen 17 Miracles?  Watch that and tell me if Mormons have a right to live in Utah.  Seriously, if the Mormon neighbors going to church and baking cookies are ruining your life, you need to get a life.  YOU need to stop worrying about what other people are doing.

Things are not perfect anywhere, and yes, Utah is kind of like a bubble sometimes, but is that always a bad thing? From going to Space Camp (I know, I am such a nerd, but yeah..) I met a lot of people from all over the country.  I made some really good friends, and met other people I didn't like at all.  In general, Utah boys are more.. respectful. The boys at Space Camp often had little respect for girls or women, and they treated us horribly. There were a lot of nice boys too, but they looked at girls differently than the people from where I live do. They treated girls like objects; I couldn't walk down the hallway without a boy making a sexual comment.  Sometimes I didn't even feel safe because of it.

When I got back home I was shocked by how nice everyone is and how the boys didn't say or do any of the things some of the camp boys did. This is a generalization and is not meant to reflect on all boys, but I wanted to make the point that a lot of times, a bubble is meant to protect you, which for the time being, I am MORE than fine with.  Whether you live here, or somewhere else, your life is not ruled by the people around you- your life is yours.  Go move to Texas if you like, but guess what?  It won't be much different being surrounded by a baptist preacher instead of an LDS bishop.  And if you hate people of every religion?  Go move to a communist country (or the moon).

In our school there is only one person I see as a nonconfomist in it's true meaning. That person I will call Stephanie. Stephanie doesn't care what you do or say. She does what she wants and doesn't follow social rules. She is her own person. You don't all love her or give her any attention. She wears black and is teased for how she looks and acts. She thinks everyone is an idiot, and everyone seems to feel the same about her. She isn't trying to be popular in a different group of people than the normal "popular" group, she is trying to live how she wants.

This has gotten her in trouble a lot, telling people just what she thinks of them. It is a two way thing though, people make fun of her and laugh, and she calls them morons. This year by saying hi to her and being nice I have seen her smile. She wants friends, she just doesn't know how. Today on the way back from home room in the portables we were talking and a snake slithered across my foot. She screamed, but I think it made her loosen up a bit. She started talking about how funny it was and how scary, and it was enjoyable.  She is as close to a nonconformist out of everyone I know. She is lonely, but she isn't going to change for you, so nonconformity is not quite as glamorous as you want it to be.

Being yourself is great, be unique and special and great in your own way, but make it true. Trying too hard to be strange and different is not different at all.  I appreciate genuine people; if you fit in, great!  And if you don't fit it, great!  I'm just glad that you are yourself.   I am not the only one who thinks this, I am not the first, nor am I the last, I know. This is not a new thought, but it is something that I want to say to people every time they try to be different or say "I am so weird!" or anything like that. By trying to be a nonconformist, you are being a conformist, to impress some group of people, which makes your whole effort a waste. Thanks for reading, hope I didn't offend you. But if I did, well... too bad...

2 comments:

  1. Best...entry...EVER!!! I'm going to save this on my computer so you can't erase it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. No. Don't read it. Just forget you saw it at all!! not best.

    ReplyDelete