Summer! (Part One)

I haven't posted anything since school got out, but I am going to try to now. This summer has been kind of crazy. I have seen and hung out with people I didn't during the school year and everything seems different. I actually got along with Rae for a whole weekend this summer (which is a first). I went to a family reunion with family members I have met maybe once tops. And I of course have hung out with various friends.

One of the groups I have hung out with a few times is my swim group. There are people like Shelby or Bre or Jinni that are from swim and are sometimes in this group, but they can't come a lot so I am not including them in this. The swim group consists of mainly six people: Allie, Jake, Steven, Tom, Beth, and me. These are the people who were on the club team before high school swim. Half of us are Lancers and the other half are Darts, so we would never really see each other or be friends if it wasn't for swim. Before I tell you about the adventures we have had I think you should know a little about each of us.

Allie: Allie is at first sight stereotypical. She is pretty; very athletic; and loves to talk about clothes, make up, and boys. She is more than that once you get to know her though. She is full of surprises. She is funny and says things that you don't expect to hear, like asking through out a whole movie who the bad guy is or which guy is batman in the batman movies. Allie and I are usually the one to plan hanging out with swim people, and we are pretty good friends now. Allie and Jake are the ones who convinced me to join the club swim team, and Allie made me join the high school team.

Steven: Steven is funny. He is like Allie, but isn't friendly to me. I always call him short and he always tells me that he is taller than me, I just always wear boots so you can't tell. Steven likes to tease me about Jake, and I tease him about Allie.

Jake: Jake is the hardest to fit into only a few sentences. Jake and I have been friends the longest out of anyone in the group I think. Jake is funny and helps hold the group together. Steven always talks about how cool Jake is, and I think everyone agrees he is pretty cool. Jake is the only one in this group that went to the same school as me this year. He was also in Honors english.

Tom: Tom and Jake are both tall. They are easy to spot in our group because steven and I are short and Allie and Beth are only a few inches taller. Tom is nice and is really funny. We don't like each other, but we joke about having "moments" a lot. He is really relaxed and is the most mellow and calm one of the group.

Beth: I almost didn't know if I should include Beth, because she doesn't always come. She is busy a lot, and Allie and I have both had issues with her. She is very flirty, which sometimes get her friends, and sometimes causes problems. She is nice and is pretty. I am not really close with her, so I don't know what else to say.

Me: Okay, I know you already know about me, but I thought I should include myself anyways....but that is all I have to say about myself in the group

This week I hung out with the swim group or parts of the swim group a few times. On Friday for the first time in hanging out with them Steven was nice to me. Steven was at Lagoon with us and he started being friendly and not insulting anyone, not that it lasted long. An hour or two into his being nice Allie found a stuffed animal on the ground. It was a stuffed banana (so technically not an animal) dressed like Batman. Allie thought someone had abandoned it, even though it looked to me like someone had set it down. Steven convinced her it really was just left there, so she took it. When she was walking away he told her it probably belonged to someone, but by then she was too far away to want to go back. We decided to name the stuffed banana, and we ended up with two names: Beau and Jake. Beau because it sounds like Bo, short for Botassium, which sounds like potassium, which bananas have a lot of, but Po seemed too Teletubbies like. Beau is the name that Allie and I liked. jake came up because Steven really wanted to name it jake. He kept teasing me by throwing the banana at me and saying, "Here, Space Rabbit, hold jake." Even though Allie and I vetoed the name jake and thought that the real Jake would be weirded out by the name Steven kept insisting it be named jake. (I didn't capitalize the "j" so you would know which Jake it was.)

I kind of want to tell you about the two "Moments" Tom and I had; and about going to (the person) Jake's house to see if he was faking not being able to come, which he was; and about the strange Batman movie; but this looks like a journal entry, and is frankly boring, to read, even for me, so I will stop.

Once I get back into the blogging I might be able to write something interesting like about philosophy, but for now this is the best I can think of, so tune in later for something better to read. Congratulations if you got through this whole thing, even skimming. :)

Last Post of the School Year! (even though school is out...) Conformity again and People

"you sign prince of darkness
try squire of dimness 
please don't help me with this"

-She's Your Cocaine Tori Amos

I have so much to say, so be prepared for a monster post. First, I need to follow up on my conformity post because I guess I didn't make my point right. I also wanted say goodbye to all of my readers and followers and friends and Mr. Thompson, of course. Like last time I am going to try and break all of the ideas up by color.

Okay, now I really am going to do a follow up "Conforming to Nonconformism" post because I don't think I made my point clear.

Conformism is to comply to society, not to be a robot. Someone told me that we all have our own personal degree of conformity and nonconformity. This made me think of it like a color spectrum, you know the line that goes through all the colors, but is basically just a strip. This made me kind of mad, because it doesn't seem like that at all to me. I think of it more like the color circle you see when choosing a font color in word. there are so many ways to be different, it is not as uniform as the spectrum makes it out to be. We don't just have degrees, we have our own style and taste and go about life, you can't graph that by just a spectrum. Everyone is completely different and may act how you see as normal, but that is because you only see one side of them. No one is the definition of normal that you have in your mind, and you can't take it as degrees by just what you may see of them at that time. You have no idea who someone is or who they are going to be, you can't say "Oh, they are a conformist, they have no creativity what so ever. They only want to fit in, they don't actually think anything nearly as creative and useful as me because they are so busy acting like someone else so they can be accepted." By thinking that you would be thinking like so many and making your own thoughts less unique, oh the irony of it all. You can't think that secretly everyone wants to be like you or that everyone is faking, your group is the only truly genuine one. You are you, you don't want to be like so-and-so, and I would bet so-and-so doesn't dream of being you. There is not one type of person, you can't assume that there is. There is not a set number of "types of people" if fact most people are more than one "type" of person, it depends on mood and company, so stop thinking that someone is fake. All that needs to matter to you about how they act is what effects you. As long as they are happy and their behavior isn't hindering or harming you, you don't need to assume there is some secret depression or hidden motive to their actions just let it be.

These pictures don't show quite what I had in mind, but they do show you something. See how on the spectrum there are different colors, but there are like main colors that are the same on top and bottom, and there is only so many different colors you would be able to be. The circles have different shades from the middle to the edge. There is a lot more room for variation. On the hexagon shaped one you can see more about how many different things there are, it isn't just blue or purple, it are many different blues. In the spectrum you can mainly see one blue, but in the hexagon you can try to count, but there are so many and some of the colors you may classify as blue but someone else would classify it as something else.

Something that I have been hearing a lot lately is that you need to be honest Not like saying don't lie, but like the truth needs to be spoken."It is okay to hate people," is something I have heard from a few sources. My problem is I don't like to make people upset. I am so concerned with if I am going to hurt so-and-so sometimes that it just hurts me. I am learning that you don't actually have to be nice to everyone like you are told to be. Another thing said to me is, "The truth is hard, but it must be spoken." You may not see this as incredibly profound, but it is good advice. It is hard to say something that will make someone upset, but it is sometimes necessary. When someone is not doing something okay, there is only so much tolerance they should expect. You hear nonstop that you need to not judge people, but I was told that it isn't your job to judge people, but it is your job to judge how good they are for you. This seems good, because you aren't condemning anyone, but you also aren't being a push over. You can assume everyone is good at heart while knowing that you are not the one supposed to be their friend and help them. You may help them and bring them up, but if they are bringing you down more than you are bringing them up, it's not good and you should rethink it. You can say that not everyone is as lucky as some, situations are all different and you can't assume you understand anybody's situation. At the same time, you can control somethings. One of my teachers said something about how some people are dealt a crappy hand of cards, but after a while the cards are what you make them. You don't need to be sorry about your life and just feel bad for yourself, you can change your life. You may not be able to change everything, but you can change how you think about it. Your hand of cards is now up to you, there are some factors you can never change, but really most factors you can change.

Another thing I have heard is: You need to stand up and fight for yourself. I personally will stand up for almost anyone, but I won't defend myself. My friend Jinni seems similar to me in defending people. She is okay with someone talking crap about her, but as soon as on of her friends gets hurt she is right there. Once this boy named Tucker kept saying things about my friend Jinni and I lost it at him. I told him how wrong he was and was getting really worked up. When he got sick of it he shoved me as hard as he could. I hit a wall and blacked out for just a second, I couldn't really stand back up, but I tried. When Jinni heard me hit the wall she turned around and as soon as she saw it she ran up. She had her arms around me and started yelling at that Tucker as loud as she could.

~~

I guess that is some year end advice or something. On to people!

~~

Goodbye! (although I think I will try to keep posting if I can, and I will see some of you next year.)

Pink Lady: How do I begin with you? You always listen to my Eddie stories, and side with me. You hate Joanne because Joanne and I have a rivalry, and you are very... verbal about it. I can't help but laugh when you call her names, even though it is so mean to laugh. You seriously help me so much in Honors English and I don't know if I would ever remember my Biology without you. You are funny and nice and just all around awesome. I love the conversations we have had and am so sad we aren't going to the same school next year! Who will I tell all my Eddie stories to?! I love you so much, you are an amazing friend. (Oh, and thanks for giving me a ride that one time, your car was so cool with all the Thai music and Thai speaking!)

Taylor: You won't read this, but you are one of my best friends. You have been by my side through it all. You have never teased me about what everyone else does and you always listen. This year I think we really became good friends. You went to Mr. T's room with me every time I had to go talk to him (which was a lot), even if you rolled your eyes or didn't understand why. You are so nice and sweet to everyone. You get my humor and are always nice and and in a good mood. You work hard and are really funny. You don't accept compliments, but you deserve everyone of them. You got student of the month in music this year and you deserved it. You didn't want to go if the teacher was going to talk about you, but you did anyways and got a double speech! You never judge and try to be nice to everyone. Thank you for always being there and for talking to Thompson like everyday. I still have your pictures from the beginning of the year and will never forget your clay cat, our garbage elephant, or painting at the carnival in sixth grade. Also, you protect me from 4'0'' seventh graders...

Fae: You are evil and have never been nice to me, but I still love you. You look so sweet and kind, but then you are not. You come up to my locker to tell me that I am stupid and never run out of insults, but you are so funny I can't help but laugh. Fridays are your good day I guess, but only verbally you told me. You body slam me in the halls and shove me into groups of people and random lockers, and even push Taylor so she will hit me, but it is so funny I can't be mad. I am going to be sad to not see you next year, there will be no one to "bully" me and no one for me to "Report."

Moogle Kid, Salsa Sideways, Zenna, Ezlob, Raven Goode: I don't know where to start with you. Moogle Kid, thanks for writing about me in your blog. My favorite quote of yours was "A little shy, she is overlooked for most of the games, until the other competitors realize there's someone missing. She can swim, she can hide, and she has Jamie." When I see that I really wonder if I am that invisible that no one would even realize I was gone? I hope I have changed that and you see me now. ;) Also, do I hide? And thank you so much for making my identity about a boy. I must mean a whole ton. Now I get that it is different, I think now you know me better. I am almost sorry about creeping you out, but it is a great way to get back at you. You write fiction and then act like it is me, but it is so funny. It is great to me that even when I hold your face to make you squirm you still will talk to me. I would like to think we are friends, but FYI I am just me, not a combo of me and a boy who you want me to be with ;). I hope we see each other again too. Your "Sarah and Jamie" thing was annoying, but it was funny and I am glad we are friends, even if it took in inordinate amount of cracks at my life. (Oh, and if fiction is based on reality, what is Star Wars based on?! hmmmmm?!?)

Assuming I got the names right, Salsa I am going to miss you. Lunch was pretty fun, watching you eat your muffin with a knife everyday and making fun of me (Y'all sure like to do that...) and talking about seminary. I still can't believe that you don't like seminary and were never nice to the teacher.. *Shakes head* Oh, and Zenna only reminds me of you, You are my favorite.

Zenna, I will not ever forget you, no matter how hard I may try. We started out as not great friends, but in Biology and Foods I think that changed. From the notes we passed and all that to "I saw that glance!!" we had some good times. In social dance we had fun, and you seem to get what I say the best out of Moogle and Salsa and Ezlob and you. You don't get awkward either... Oh, and just wanted to tell you that, "Every time we touch, I get this feeling..." (To anyone else who may read that and suddenly feel really awkward: it is the lyrics to a song for social dance... Yeah, Moogle kid doesn't seem to get it either...)

Ezlob: YOU Killed MY Stickman! You call him twisty tie man, but his name was stick man and I made him and you killed him. I will never forgive you.

Raven Goode: Sorry if you were annoyed after the dance. It has been fun getting to know you, you are so sweet. I'm sad you're going to davis. In fact, you all are... I will stalk you all or something, because who will mock me mercilessly without you guys there?

(Here is Moogle Kid's Blog if you want to see. This post explains some of the names and "Sarah and Jamie" stuff.) (Here is Raven Goode's blog)

Shelby: Thank you for reading my blog and being so awesome. We met at a swim meet and you listened to me talk for like three hours straight. I miss you now that the High School swim season is over and we never seem to see each other. You have saved me many times like when I got in trouble for eating the Knights food and have always stood by my side. I am going to miss you next year, but we will see each other almost as much next year I think. Good luck with Camp and everything in the summer!

Allie: You are not going to read this, but I love you. You are so funny and every time I talk to you I have to laugh. You are great for advice and I am so glad we are going to the same school and swim next year!

Jake: I am not sure what to say, because things seem to change so much. Swim was the best with you, and sorry about anything I may have done (like being obsessed with my blue hand and showing it to you like twenty times). When you got hit at one of the meets, you were totally chill about it while I was over reacting. You always let me take your hat on the bus, and always gave me a ride when I needed it. You also deal with all of my food's random stories and text Eliza back when she takes my phone. I have no clue how next year will go, but this swim season was fun with you. Relax, you are you, not your sister, not your dad, you think too much! :)

Jinni: You also won't read this, but I freaking love you. I would do anything for you, and I am sorry when I totally freaked out at you. You are so sweet and innocent. You assume the best of everyone and I will kick anyone's butt who hurts you, Bruce or whatever his name is is really lucky you like him, because I think we both know how much I wanted to hurt him. You defend everyone and if I need a hug you are who I want to come to. Thank you for a great year at swim, and thanks for all the camp memories. Last year you kept me from being sent home, and you still think all the dancer jokes are funny. I really hope you are a Lancer, not a Nerd like Shelby! <3

X-ee: Reading my year book I wanted to get all emotional and hug you. Thank you so much for the help you have given me and for being nice. Thank you most of all for staying up till one in the morning to talk to me when I needed to talk to you. Talking to you helped me so much, you are the first person I have said all that to, I hope you get the whole picture now. You are so open minded and sweet and smart and pretty, what's not to love about that?

Sakura: You are so nice. You love everyone and always listen. I wish you the best of luck with some of the drama. You are sweet and strong, you are amazing actually. Thank you for being you, you are awesome and I want to thank your family for having you, because you are one of a kind and I am so glad I know you.

Moonshine: We must watch some more Mummy movies. This year has been so much fun with you. I hope we can hang out next year even though we are going to different schools.

Maddog: You have also been there for me though all of the camp stuff and this year. I am sorry for when I have made it awkward for you at lunch, and sorry that you don't think my dancing jokes are funny... I am so sad that we are going to different schools and neither one is going to camp again, but I hope I still see you. Good luck with band and everything! Like Jake, please relax, you are amazing and you need to be happy with that! You are a quilt, don't forget it. (P.S. Finish updating me on Ty please!)

Bro R: You are fantastic. I can't think of the right word for you. I didn't want to go to seminary, but you were okay with that. You just were patient and then when I finally did come to you, you listened and tried to help me. It is not about grades or even success with you, you love everyone. You said you were proud of me when you saw my seminary grade when from a B- to and I knew that you were truly proud of me. You stopped me after class often and always asked how I was. You have asked me if I am okay, and you wait for an answer and try to help. You won't read this, but I still need to say it. I wrote my story for you and everything, because you are genuine and really want to read it. You were more excited than I was when I came to talk to you after class about how happy I was. You wanted to help when I cried and you have great advice. I went to see you at a fireside (even though I felt like a stalker and hoped you wouldn't see me) and you looked directly at me so I knew you knew I was there and so I couldn't leave. After the fireside you came up and said how happy you were that I came. Your wife also gave me great advice at the fireside and seemed so friendly, and I am taking that advice. Seminary is so fun and I have never felt like I did in that class room. You may not believe me, but your class is the only one I have cried in, even though I cried so much. Oh, and thanks so much for telling the class I always look on the verge of tears, I have almost never been as red in my life as I was when you said that and made everyone in the class look at me.

Mr. T: I saved you for last. I walked into your class expecting to be quiet the whole year and have you forget me, not so much anymore. You would never let me just exist, you would call on me when I didn't raise my hand, you would make fun of me in front of the class, and you were genuinely interested in what I said most of the time. You once told me that a teacher's primary job is to care about the students and you were shocked that most teachers won't make eye contact with students. You have taught me so much, most of it being life lessons not semicolons and commas. You were always at meets because Jake was on the swim team too, and you would cheer for me too. You never got annoyed at my always coming in to ask questions after school and rarely got annoyed with me disagreeing with everything you said. You talk about my inter-greatness, seem to notice when ever I do something right. You have read my blog, you let me just give my liner notes to you instead of posting them on the wiki, and you told me when my liner notes didn't make sense. You have pretty much changed me by not letting me be quite. I have so much more to say, but I will just leave it at that for now. Also, thank you for everything. When you read my story that explains my liner notes you gave me feed back, even though it was out of your way. Your feedback made me cry, you don't know how much it meant to me. You actually care about all of your students and try to know each of them individually. Thank you for an amazing year.

I am going to miss you all! I really hope I get to see most of you next year. Amore! Adios! See ya! I hope at least one of you sees this...

Here is some old post I forgot to post, but I am going to now for no reason, it is Kind of Old as You Can Tell.... I am not sure what it even says actually :)

Fourth term! Finally! Well, to be honest I am not sure how excited I am. I love a few classes and don't want my time in them to be almost over, but I also am SO done with some classes. My favorite classes are foods, seminary and english. This seems a little ironic since I have always hated engish. I know what you're thinking, "If you hate english, than WHY are you taking it online too?!" and the answer is because I do that kind of thing. The main reason why I hate english is last year I didn't do well in english (because during one of the terms I decided not to do a huge assignment), and I figured that my grade just meant I sucked at english. Before last year I never liked it though. In seventh I liked the class, but yeah. Before seventh I hated english because in 6th grade I had too much english homework. Ok, I will stop making excuses, don't laugh at me, but I didn't learn to read until I was eight or so. When I was younger than that things were too complicated to do things like read, it's not like I was too lazy or stupid. When I did start to read I was like in second grade, reading kindergarten books. You can see how this might make me kind of embarrassed when I was little, because yes, people do notice. Now I can read, I am not behind and I don't struggle with that, but I have still never loved the actual english class.

Ok, that was kind of a weird story, back to the topic. This year I like english, last semester it was my favorite class by far. This semester I don't really sit by anyone I know, but I still like english. I also like blogging. It isn't a chore like I thought it might be, it is actually kind of fun and relieves stress. It gives you something to do, so you can say you are doing homework, but you are doing something not urgent or stressful (usually).

 This year I was surprised because I liked english from the beginning. I think that it is different this year, and having a teacher that cares has helped a lot. If I don't like something, I will fail at it. This year with the student of the month thing, I don't think Mr. Thompson knows how much it meant to me, because that sort of implies that I am good at writing, which I have never thought of myself as being. It gave me the encouragement that I have needed to do my best in that class and to try stepping out of my comfort zone to do things that I was too scared to do before. In english class it feels like I am part of it, not just observing. I like that I am called on or used as an example sometime, because like I am not really outgoing with that kind of thing. I think that the teacher really makes a difference, because it is just weird how much I have gone from pure hatred and dread to actually enjoyment of the subject. 

I was going to tell you about why I love seminary, but I am getting bored of talking (or typing), so I will keep it short. I love seminary, I love my class, I love my teacher, and I love how unstressed it makes me. I am quiet in some classes, and seminary is one of them, but I am really comfortable there. We were asking questions in class on yesterday and I started a question or comment out with "Hey.. sorry to like take up even more class time with-" but I was interrupted by my seminary teacher telling me NEVER to apologize, and about how good questions were. I get flustered and turn red when attention is drawn to me, but in seminary it doesn't seem to matter because the teacher wants you to ask questions and be brave enough to risk getting something wrong. I love that you never get in trouble in seminary, if I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing then the teacher will not get mad at me, he just assumes it is what is best for me or something. I have only spoken to my teacher a few times, but I am amazed at how open he is and how much he truly cares for everyone. He doesn't just say that he cares about each of us, he shows it and makes everyone feel like they are doing something good. I really look forward to that class everyday.

I like foods, but the only thing strange about that is I am not very compatible with the teacher. I don't like answering questions, but hey, you have to love food right? I also like my table that I sit at, it is very entertaining in class.

Those are my favorite classes, I could go on and on all day about them and about all the stories that relate to them, but for now that is all I have to say. 

Random Things, Dress Code, and Recent Events

(Sorry, I am breaking this up into a few unrelated sections, stay with me. I will do the writing in different colors and break up the stories with "~~~" so you can know when I am moving on...)

To start off, here is another quote, which was written in a persuasive essay from my mom to Taylor and was one of the foot notes(don't ask, it's a long story). It was the reference for a fact that she completely made up and said, "I made this up, but if I post it on the Internet, it might make it true." This may or may not be a true quote, but it was funny... and kind of true, people would believe that dancing will lower DUIs and higher ACT scores if you posted it online.


 I just read a few of my posts, wow I have changed, and those memories came back. Funny how you can forget the order events take place, or forget that one week you hated the world and everyone in it. In one of the posts it spent half the time talking about bagels (even though I actually don't like bagels); in another it hints that something bad happened, but I never actually say what happened; in still another I got to see when I was still figuring out blogger and half my blog was highlighted white and the other half was gray. 


Someone told me I should follow up on my "conforming to nonconformism" post this week, but I don't know quite how. I could elaborate on details, but that seems a tad redundant, so I think I might just move on. I have been worrying about what I could say more on Nonconformism, but most of it is just dark and useless, plus a little weird usually.

~~~

I wanted to post a little on how stupid the school dress code is, and how it is not enforced well. This week was the THIRD time I have gotten in trouble for clothing, and it was pretty stupid. First let me explain that I have worn shorts to school that have gotten some kind of comment like, "have you gotten in trouble for your shorts yet?" from several people. Shorts are okay I guess, but my shirts aren't. I have worn the same kinds of shirt for a while and not gotten in trouble. Shirts that have holes or a translucent cardigan over it, and never gotten in trouble. They are never provocative or suggest anything bad; and to be honest, they seem a lot better to me than the skirts I see some girls wear that show their underwear clearly. They are defiantly better in my mind than the very provocative shirts I see some girls wear. They can wear things that I don't even feel comfortable seeing them in, and I don't have issues with people wearing almost nothing. How is it that I can wear something that shows a little bit of my back and get in trouble, but someone can wear a shirt that shows their chest and is low cut and not get in trouble. This year is the first time I have gotten in trouble. The funny part is that is is always like a long sleeve shirt with a high neck line, but it somehow doesn't fit dress codes.


The dress codes allow for some people to slip under the radar and wear whatever they want, but get other people in trouble who aren't causing any problems. You can wear a tube too to school with a jacket over it and it is fine, but my sleeves need to be longer because you can see part of my shoulder under my jacket? There is a girl who I see that wears shirts where you can see her shoulders but she doesn't get punished for it. 


I saw a nice looking girl in the office getting in trouble for a hole in her jeans, but she shouldn't be, the jeans looked fine. The dress code is not fair, if you are going to have a strict dress code that is one thing, but you can't let some people slip under the radar, especially if they wear something like that every day. It is stupid and makes no sense. It is like police pulling over someone who is going a mile over the speed limit because they haven't met their ticket quota for the day, but they let a speeding car going 20 miles over go by and don't notice a thing.

~~~

I haven't said much about my week recently, so I am going to try and say something about what has actually been going on. Last month I met my new BFF Emma, she is friends with a girl from swim named Jacky, and she is really nice, so now we are going to be BFFs we decided. She is going to be a Lancer next year too, so I am starting to get excited about High School. I really hope we have classes next year and are friends.


Last weekend my sisters had an ice skating show. Adrienne (who is 10) had a solo, which means that now she is one of the older girls. She was so excited and I think she had a lot of fun. She did a group number called Black and White and a solo called Yellow. She looked amazing, she can do some really cool spins and almost has her axel I think. Getting your axel is a huge deal, there are two main groups of people, the older girls who have it, and the girls who don't, Adrienne is about to make the leap and become one of the girls that has it. She looked so good in her solo and was really happy, which is great.


Eliza (who is 7) had her group dances, and she looked great too. Her dances were Little Red Riding Hood and Elephant Walk or something like that. After the show everyone got to swim, and there I met Jane. Jane is going to be a Lancer next year too, and I have met her before, but have talked to her very little. She was really friendly and nice to me even though she didn't really know me. Meeting new people is making me more excited to go to high school.


Taylor and I have hardly any classes together, but we still see each other after school. Her sister loves to hate me. Her sister walked up to my locker this week just to tell me that I was stupid. She also tells me on a regular basis that no one likes me, and Taylor is just my friend because she feels bad for me. She always pushes me, so taylor tries to walk between us, which just means more Taylor gets hurt when her sister tries to shove me. Her sister also full on body slammed me on friday... I am going to miss school and Taylor's little sister always finding some cleaver way to insult me.

I am going to miss my teachers a little next year. Nothing like walking into a class two minutes late and having the teacher look at you, notice you don't want to talk about it, then just go on and not say a word about you being late (this teacher makes it a big deal when you are late). Also, it seems like my teachers this year know me more than any other year. My teachers know my personality and it is going to be kind of sad to leave them all. I know they don't really care usually, but I think a few of them took notice of me. English will never be as fun as it was this year because there is no guarantee I will have Taylor in my class and a teacher that is okay with people having fun in class as long as they get their work done.


One more week, plus the last week that doesn't really count, and it is all over. I am on the fence between sad and excited. I actually like school right now, not all of it, but some of it! On the other hand I am ready to move on, done with some of the people there. I am sure all of the people in my grade feel somewhat similar to this at one degree or another.

Conforming to Nonconformity

Announcing that you're a nonconformist is the same as telling me that you a conformist.  It's one thing to be unique and be yourself, but it is something else to try really hard to be something that you're not. The real nonconformists in the world never say that they are nonconformists, they just are different, and most people around them stay far away.  The real nonconformists don't try to be nonconformists, they just are.

More and more people I know are trying too hard to be different. Everyone wants to be a free spirit, everyone wants to be original and think differently from those around them, but the truth is this-  trying to be different is what everyone is doing, and has been doing for thousands of years,  so get over it. You are not the first one to see civil injustice, so don't be so proud of yourself for noticing it, you aren't the chosen one or super genius for pointing it out.  You are not the first person to see that things in the world aren't perfect, but going on and on is just annoying sometimes.  If these same people were out volunteering after school, instead of just complaining,  I would respect their opinion, but they aren't looking for the good around them, or contributing to it, they just whine.  If they did as much as they talked, we would have a great world.  Everyone would be Nelson Mandala.

In English class, we are reading a book called Stargirl.  Stargirl is loveable, she is different, unique, and doesn't care what anyone thinks.  She is loud and bubbly and wears crazy clothes.  For a while, everyone around her loves her, but then they just get tired of her.  Stargirl doesn't change when people get tired of her, because she is being herself, but if most people acted like that,  they would stop as soon as people got tired of it because all they really want is attention.  Trying to get a shock factor from everything you do is not being a nonconformist, Stargirl didn't try to get a shock factor, but sometimes she shocked people anyway.

One "nonconformist" told me recently that everything wrong with her life is because she lives in Utah. She said something like, "it is just Utah, the Mormons are the problem because EVERYONE but me is Mormon."   Well,  I just don't think that whatever is wrong with your life is all someone else's fault because of their religion.  And, the truth is, Mormons have a right to be here too.  They were driven out their houses in Illinois and Missouri by gunpoint and WALKED here so they could practice their religion without the threat of violence.  My ancestors took a six week boat trip from England to America and then walked to Utah to farm a piece of desert land.   Ever seen 17 Miracles?  Watch that and tell me if Mormons have a right to live in Utah.  Seriously, if the Mormon neighbors going to church and baking cookies are ruining your life, you need to get a life.  YOU need to stop worrying about what other people are doing.

Things are not perfect anywhere, and yes, Utah is kind of like a bubble sometimes, but is that always a bad thing? From going to Space Camp (I know, I am such a nerd, but yeah..) I met a lot of people from all over the country.  I made some really good friends, and met other people I didn't like at all.  In general, Utah boys are more.. respectful. The boys at Space Camp often had little respect for girls or women, and they treated us horribly. There were a lot of nice boys too, but they looked at girls differently than the people from where I live do. They treated girls like objects; I couldn't walk down the hallway without a boy making a sexual comment.  Sometimes I didn't even feel safe because of it.

When I got back home I was shocked by how nice everyone is and how the boys didn't say or do any of the things some of the camp boys did. This is a generalization and is not meant to reflect on all boys, but I wanted to make the point that a lot of times, a bubble is meant to protect you, which for the time being, I am MORE than fine with.  Whether you live here, or somewhere else, your life is not ruled by the people around you- your life is yours.  Go move to Texas if you like, but guess what?  It won't be much different being surrounded by a baptist preacher instead of an LDS bishop.  And if you hate people of every religion?  Go move to a communist country (or the moon).

In our school there is only one person I see as a nonconfomist in it's true meaning. That person I will call Stephanie. Stephanie doesn't care what you do or say. She does what she wants and doesn't follow social rules. She is her own person. You don't all love her or give her any attention. She wears black and is teased for how she looks and acts. She thinks everyone is an idiot, and everyone seems to feel the same about her. She isn't trying to be popular in a different group of people than the normal "popular" group, she is trying to live how she wants.

This has gotten her in trouble a lot, telling people just what she thinks of them. It is a two way thing though, people make fun of her and laugh, and she calls them morons. This year by saying hi to her and being nice I have seen her smile. She wants friends, she just doesn't know how. Today on the way back from home room in the portables we were talking and a snake slithered across my foot. She screamed, but I think it made her loosen up a bit. She started talking about how funny it was and how scary, and it was enjoyable.  She is as close to a nonconformist out of everyone I know. She is lonely, but she isn't going to change for you, so nonconformity is not quite as glamorous as you want it to be.

Being yourself is great, be unique and special and great in your own way, but make it true. Trying too hard to be strange and different is not different at all.  I appreciate genuine people; if you fit in, great!  And if you don't fit it, great!  I'm just glad that you are yourself.   I am not the only one who thinks this, I am not the first, nor am I the last, I know. This is not a new thought, but it is something that I want to say to people every time they try to be different or say "I am so weird!" or anything like that. By trying to be a nonconformist, you are being a conformist, to impress some group of people, which makes your whole effort a waste. Thanks for reading, hope I didn't offend you. But if I did, well... too bad...

Nurture vs Nature

"People say we have so much in common: You're amazing, and I am amazed by everything you do." 

-Patty Fiasco (All of those lines that resonate have me thinking about quotes, so I thought I'd share the one that has been stuck in my head all day.)

Ok, at swim yesterday I hurt my thumb. Well, it wasn't just my fault, because I had to lead lane lines (which is like the worst job ever) and the guys helping reel the lane lines in wouldn't listen. I was in a hurry and was getting frustrated, and I was about to just give up and make the only guy (let's call him Luke) listening lead them for me, but I decided I might as well just finish or wait until I got a little more annoyed. When I was making this decision the lane line got stuck and I told them to stop so I could fix it. I was fixing it and suddenly they decided to start reeling again... as fast as they could. The lane line jolted when they started reeling again and suddenly something went under my nail, it was either the slide you have to use to take them out or the wire holding the lines together. Either way, it hurt  a lot, and when I looked at it it was bleeding and hurt more than you would think it might. I made Luke finish up after that.

When I got home I was thinking about it, and I decided if it looked really gross today that I would go up to Luke and try and gross him out. I realized that only I do that, most people don't go up to random people and try to freak them out. Who else does that often? Migi. It took me a second, but she does that exact same thing. Migi is in seventh grade and tries to freak people out a lot, maybe more than me. She will go up to me in the hall and start talking to me, or yelling, or start introducing me to her friends. Once she saw one of my friends in the hall and yelled, "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!" She also tells me that my friends are freaks, and that I am a freak for liking my friends, because they are freaks. She is very competitive and feisty, and she does things that no one else does.

She was on the cruise with me during spring break, and on the plane trip to california we had the same flight. At the airport she came up to me and said "Look at my thumb! I cut it yesterday, see how gross it looks?!" She said it about the same way as I say that when I hurt myself and it looks gross. What she does sometimes is freakishly similar to what I do, and I don't even see her everyday. What is strange is the fact that I don't see her everyday, so it's not nurture. We don't live in the same house with the same parents or siblings, but we are similar. When Adrienne acts the same kind of way I do I can say that she is used to seeing me do that, Migi however probably doesn't even remember living with me ever.

So how much of your personality is nurture and how much is nature? With Migi I notice a lot of similarities to me, but I also notice similarities to Roo. Roo is the same age as me and lives with Migi. How ever inaccurate this may be, I take it as a little sample of nurture vs nature. See, I am the one (between Roo and me) who is more likely to yell randomly and try to scare people; but Roo is the one who tells everyone (Okay, usually tells me) that they are (or I am) a freak.

Copper Cup

My favorite quote of the day is, "It was funny when you were talking to yourself for no reason," by Eliza. I have no topic that I am overly passionate to talk about right now, so I will tell you about the craziness of right now. Copper Cup is coming up in awhile, and it is really taking a toll on my house. Copper Cup is this huge ice skating competition that, through a strange turn of events, my mom and her friend now have to run on their own pretty much.

Before last year Copper cup was run by some lady, but last year she decided a little too late that she hated the Bountiful Rec. center, so she quit. Don't ask me how my mom got put in charge, but she did. After Copper Cup was over last year my mom said she would never do it again...But here we are again, and here she is running it. 

Last year my mom got put in charge of Copper Cup, and it actually ended up really good. Bountiful has an Olympic Medalist that skates with them, which helps in a lot of ways. The skater's name is Jozef Sabovcik, but everyone just calls him Jumpin' Joe. He does backflips and is 47 or 48 years old. He is the only 40-somthing man I know who can pull of skinny jeans and long hair. He is just really awesome. Here are some videos of him, I didn't see one of him at the Bountiful Rec. Center immediately, but here are some other ones. The one that has yellow spot lights on him is from 2009 and he does a backflip and some really cool spins. He doesn't really do any jumps besides his backflip in it, so I got you another one that has jumps in it. It is from 1997 and is a a US open competition I think. It shows some good jumps and two backflips (Plus his five year old son, who is pretty adorable). The 1996 one is the one with a close up of him in a blue shirt, and it has commentators, so it tells you more about him. I was going to just tell you were to go to see the backflips, but it is pretty awesome, and your just going to have to see his other jumps I guess.

Back to the story! Last year for Copper cup Joe got some foreign skaters to come. They were from Austria and they looked pretty awesome.

I was going to tell you about all of the day of Copper Cup drama, but my mom says I need to be done, so I will summarize it very quickly.

The day of Copper Cup my parents asked me if I wanted to go, and I was tired and it was early, so I said no. A while later my dad called about something, and he had to come home to pick it up or something. After I was done talking to my dad my mom called and told me that Rachel (Adrienne's skating friend's sister) really really wanted me there. Rachel is about 12 or 13, and she is really cute. She is shy and she never really talked to me, so I didn't think she noticed me at all, but I guess she did.

Since Rachel wanted me there a whole lot it sounded like, I hurried and got ready and went to the rink when my dad came to pick something up. When I got there I was assigned to sell stuff.

Rachel and I got to sell like flowers, stuffed animals, tee shirts, and Jamba Juice. It was a long time with not a lot to do, so I finally got to talk to Rachel. She was just as quiet as she always was at first, but she loosened up after a while and was really funny.

Skaters came by once in a while, and they had an air of "I am better than you" about them sometimes. One girl acted a little too much like a teenager for me, like acting too cool for Rachel and me. When I saw my mom I told her this and I guess the girl is actually really sweet and nice, she just wanted to look grown up because I was a year or two older than her.

Another skater was acting like Rachel and I, although more Rachel, were lower class citizens or something. She thought she was all cool because she actually skates, we were just there to sell stuff and because our sisters skate. It didn't really bother me too much until I saw how much it bothered Rachel. This girl knew that I was older than her, but Rachel was about the same age, so it was easier to boss Rachel around. Rachel got sick of it and said very matter-of-factly, "Well, my mom, and her mom set this whole thing up." That statement got us some instant credit and made the girl stop it for a second.

There were some nice skaters, the one who acted like a teenager was actually nice, too, I just judged her before I knew that she was nice. Besides the nice skaters and the Jamba Juices there were some other perks. One of the perks was Rachel and I got to go into the Judges' room. The room had snacks galore and we looked important being able to go in there (although I had to tell some people that my mom set this up and she told me to go in there, a few times).

We also had hours of nothing to do. We ended up doing a lot of weird trying to sell the stuffed animals, and by the end of the day we had named two of them. We found these two cows that were shaped like spheres. They made me laugh because they reminded me of Angry Birds. We named them Pig 1 and Pig 2. By the end of the day Rachel realized that just because I was a little older than her didn't mean I was better or super mature. The stuffed animals we didn't sell went back into storage, but we made sure to keep Pig 1 and Pig 2 were they wouldn't be lost, but so they wouldn't be sold either.

Now Rachel and I are not like super close because I rarely go to skating practice, and I think she is the same way, but I think we are friends. She has pet bunnies, and once she brought them to the rink.... Now that I think about it, the only time I go to the rink is if she wants me to, or if her mom says she's going to bring pets or something.

There is a lot more I could say about skating (it is more interesting than you think, kind of like a soap opera meets sit-com), but I have to go to bed. Maybe I'll talk about skating another time, but for now, goodnight happy next week starting tomorrow!

Adopted

I don't know what to post tonight, so I will tell you about how I go to extremes. You know Billy Joel? He has a song called "I go to Extremes" that I think describes me pretty well. I tend to defiantly go to extremes in almost everything. I do it sometimes just to prove to people that I am not who they think I am. When people assume something about me I try to prove them wrong. It bugs me like none other when people make assumptions, even if it is right, why do you think that you know? I have noticed that a lot with being adopted. Today in church my mom talked about my adoption for something, and everyone kept looking at me and after this girl came up and hugged me and said that you would never know. This didn't bug me, like at all, but it reminded me of what I have heard people assume. It almost always starts out with, "I don't want to offend you, but..." or, "So.. wait, never mind, I don't want to make you upset," or something along those lines. If you have said one of these then please don't be offended. Here are some of the things I have heard:
"Don't take this personally, but are your parents' murders?"
"You're adopted? You don't seem quiet or antisocial at all!"
"Umm... don't be offended, but what was the orphanage like?" (I am not an orphan FYI)
"But you don't seem adopted at all, you can't even tell!"
"Okay, but don't be offended... I was going to say that you must be adopted because your mom didn't love you."
I like these quotes because they are real and they show how little people know. I also have noticed from this and other things that have been said that being adopted is like a bad thing. I want to tell people, "Well, that just shows that my parents who I am living with are good have shown that they are good and can take care of me, your parents did not, they could be crappy and you are stuck with them, no guarantee that they are good like mine." Okay, I have only wanted to say that to the your-mom-must-not-love-you one, but still. Why is it a bad thing that I am adopted? Why is that to be pitied and looked down upon? It is not always, but really, why?! Maybe my parents don't have to both be dead or have murdered someone for me to be adopted! Also everyone assumes that it just kills me to even say it, but it really doesn't. With a few exceptions, I don't really feel much overwhelming emotion over that. People also ask me often, when they hear I am adopted, if I remember my parents, if I see my parents, and of course what they did. "Yes, I was 11 when I was adopted, Stupid" I want to tell them, because why do you assume I was a baby or something? I also like to answer the "do you ever see them?" question with saying that I see my dad sometimes, but my mom is dead, because it has a shock effect for some reason.
It is really annoying that being adopted is "bad." Like I said, it guarantees that my parents are able to take care of me, they have had to prove it. In seminary my teacher asked who in the class was adopted, and I was the only one who was brave enough to raise my hand. One kid (who was adopted) shouted that he wasn't and there was no chance that he was and stuff like that, and I think that there was at least one other person in the class besides us, but why is it something to be ashamed of I had to wonder. After I was the only one to raise my hand the seminary teacher said, "Ok, only Skittles," or something like that, and yeah, I felt embarrassed, because it was like saying that I was different and everyone stared it seemed like. I know that you all say that adoption is good or whatever, but maybe think before you say the first thing that comes to your head, because if you say, "your mother must not have loved you," even joking, you may have just said it to someone who was actually having a hard time because it was their dead mom's birthday and there may just be some back story you fail to see. I don't see why you judge or assume I need your pity, because odds are I really don't.

Cruise

Sorry, I haven't posted for a few weeks, but I will make up the 500 words from last week and this week (as if anyone really cares and counts, but you get the point). So, you wanna hear about the Disney Cruise? I can practically hear your excitement at the idea, so I will not keep you waiting any longer.

This spring break my whole extended family went on a cruise ship for the week. First thing you should know to understand the weird dynamics is there are only four people per cabin. My family has five people in it, so I stayed in a cabin with my cousins and great aunt. The exact people in it were my great aunt April, my cousin Roo, my cousin Serena, and me. April was pretty quiet, she was just chill throughout the week, but I really like her, she is funny and really easy going. Roo was who I was excited to room with because she is really funny, and she knows it. Part (okay, most) of what makes her funny is how funny she thinks she is. She will say something kind of funny thing, then exclaim. "I am so funny," or, more commonly, "I am a comedian!" She always says comedian really funny, so it is hard not to laugh. The first night at dinner Roo and I sat diagonally across from each other. She started out dinner by staring at me until I started laughing. Now, I laugh pretty easily, and Roo is the master at making me laugh without saying a word. She  looks at me and says something like, "Tickle, tickle, tickle!" and I will start laughing so hard it is a little bit rediculus. Usually looking at me is not going to make me laugh hysterically, but that night it did. By the time we got back to our cabin Roo was the one that was laughing so hard she looked drunk. The ship was rocking  lot, so she kept on falling, plus she kept saying that she was a comedian and laughing hysterically. We saw my four year old cousin on our way to the cabin and when we saw her holding a free beer card (don't ask me where it was from) Roo lost it completely and was just laying on the floor in front of an elevator laughing for a really long time.

On the first full day we were just at sea. Roo, Serena, and two of my other teenage girl cousins, Josie and Chelsea, wanted to suntan. I was a little slow with understanding what they were doing, and I didn't want to layout and suntan, so I kept a coverup on. I got bored with the suntanning, and after a while I fell asleep. I was bright red when I woke up and I was a little bit mad when I saw that they had all gone back inside. I went back to my cabin, and low and behold, who was there? That's right, the four who had totally just left. Only Josie looked a little bit embarrassed and she assured me they were going to come back and sorry they left me. I thought it was nice she said something, but I was still mad at the rest of them. They were heading off somewhere, and I decided not to follow. I fell asleep in the cabin and woke up only when someone came in. Either later that first day at sea or the next day we did a scavanger hunt that was one of the boat's organized activities. We won, but after we won we were all so hot we decided to go swimming, and when the swimming pool was like full to overflowing "we" decided to go tanning. I decided that I would go tan in front of the TV in our cabin, which worked out pretty well.

On the second day at sea I got in trouble at dinner because I guess Roo and I were distracting (although I think I may be the only one who had anything said to them...). The third day we were in Portia Vallarta (Sorry if that is bad spelling). While we were there most of my cousins and I went zip lining. Zip lining was a lot of fun, and after we were done we went to an outdoor restaurant like place where we got to swim, eat, play on the beach, and (you guessed it) sun tan some more! I didn't suntan nearly as much as Roo and the others because I don't want skin cancer and everyone was already making fun of my sunburn. (If you are going to suntan, don't wear a coverup, you may end up with some funky designs on your back.) My cousin/sister Migi and I spent a lot of time together that day and on the second day, so I spent a bit of time just talking to her in the shade. My sister Adrienne saw a snake sitting in a cage and asked me to hold it. I tried to say that I didn't want to ask one of the employees at the place we where at if I could, but she offered to come with me to ask and went right up to some guy and asked if I could. He told us to find the guy who took care of the animals, and when we did Adrienne told him I wanted to hold the boa constricter. It wasn't huge, but it was really cool. She took a picture of me, and after a minute everyone started to gather round us. My cousin/sister Rae asked to hold it next. After Rae held it Eliza (my 7 year old sister) wanted to hold it. It looked huge when Eliza held it, and everyone was amazed she was so brave. When the guy who takes care of the animals took it off Eliza's neck he tried to give it to Roo, who we now know is very un-okay with snakes.

My Grandma lives in Portia Vallarta, so I went and visited her while my cousins went shopping (she is my grandma not on their side). We had fun and I met this 11 year old girl who spoke almost no english. She knew a little bit, and I knew a very small amount of spanish, so we kind of talked, but mostly she did tricks in the pool and I gave her thumbs up. My dad speaks spanish so he translated a little, but we still didn't say a ton.

Later that day (the fourth day) we were at sea again. I don't know where to say this, since it happened all week, but I think here is as good a place as any to explain how a couple things worked. There were two four year olds on the trip, Trin and May. Rae and Trin live in Arizona, so they are close. May is living with Serena's family. Everyone wanted to hold and take care of Trin and May. Trin is used to undivided attention since she is so much younger than everyone, but May is the same way. They developed a little rivalry for attention and everyone thought it was so cute. I have never met May before, so I was very interested in her. Trin I know more, and she is a little more hyperactive. May is sweet and is very into cuddling and love. May will crawl on your lap and give you a kiss or hug you. Trin, if you try and hold her, will kick you in the jaw until you let her go. I am not saying that one is better than the other, but I do think it is a little sad that Trin got more attention sometimes, which made me have more of a chance to hold May.

The fifth day we went to Cabo San Lucas. Migi was at my side from the beginning of the say asking if this boy she knows named Lucas was really my friend's little brother. Migi likes to talk, but she seems to talk to me by arguing and insulting me. It is cute because I know that she really can't hate Lucas all that much if she happens to know what shirts he wears everyday. She also loves to hate one of my friends. She calls him names and says how stupid he is, but again, I don't think she hates him all that much if she loves insulting him every chance she gets.

In Cabo we went snorkeling. There where some cool fish and it was pretty awesome. There was this blue fish that I saw that was really cool, and some guy gave me and my uncle each a cracker which made the fish swarm around you. On the boat from where we were snorkeling back to the main island there was like an hour or so ride. I fell asleep on that, but it was nice.

Hey, I will finish this later, but I am tired, so goodnight.

Okay! new post, and not even on Sunday night for once! So, hello there! How are you? Are you as excited for spring break as I am?! I guess it is good I am doing my post right now, because I am leaving tomorrow and I will NOT post over spring break... You wanna know why? I'm going on a cruise!!
On Friday I get to go to California, and get to go site seeing. Well, mostly site seeing on Saturday, but maybe some on friday. Then, on Sunday I get to go on a cruise ship! My whole extended family on by dad's side is going, and it is going to be SO FUN! I can't wait, because most of my cousins are around my age, and they are all pretty fun. The only thing I am not really excited for is Rae... Rae is my older sister, but she lives in Arizona. Don't think I am a bad person, because I mean who doesn't love their sister? Everyone fights with their siblings, that's natural, but it is not natural how Rae and I fight.

Rae and I don't get along, we never have. I think she is the only one who has made me angry enough to start swearing.. Like shouting swear words.. In the middle of the night... (But I was technecally quoting her, not actually making it up.) Anyways, that is what happened the last time I saw her, I also poured Sprite over her head, and was thanked or congratulated by many. (Not kidding, noone felt bad for her at all.) Rae and I can't spend more than ten or twenty minutes together without fighting, no exaggeration.

We ususally spend five minutes before we start fighting, which quickly turns into her smacking me across the head so hard I have to leave before anyone can tell how much it hurt. I think that she kind of hates me. I don't blame her, she runs away from her problems, and because of that she is kind of having a hard time, and everyone comparing us makes it harder to like me. See, I used to do everything she told me, but now I don't; this means that the only thing she ever gets about me is quotes like, "Skittles, thank you for being such a good role model for Migi, she needs someone to look up to, and Rae is not exactly who she should look up to." She wasn't there for that actual quote, but things like that happen a lot. Adults think they are complimenting me, but really they are just dissing Rae (although I think sometimes they might do that anyways). Poor Rae, I almost feel bad for her... No, I'm over it, she hates me and is super passive-agressive as well as violent to me. If you are reading this and thinking, "Actually Skittles, you are pretty violent yourself, you have no room to talk," then you are wrong, and right... I am more "violent" than most of you, but that is not to actually hurt someone, when Rae hits you, she expects to hear your skull crack, hear you cry, or see you bleed. Yes, sisterly love.
Anyways, I am way more excited for the cruise than I am dreading Rae, I can't wait! I will tell you all about it next week! (although it may be a little late.) AHHHHH!!! I can hardly contain myself!!

It's the last term already! I have nothing to write about this week, nothing really exciting happened. It's the beginning of term and I already have a ton of homework (and missing assignments, yay aren't I just on top of things?). It is finally spring, which it is awesome! I can't wait until it's warm enough outside to wear flip-flops every where. Everyone has been waiting for spring  I think, but spring I guess wants us to not take it for granted or something, because it is taking it's sweet time getting here.

This week, I was reading this story my friends are writing. The story is about swim team and all about all the people and drama there. It was funny to read their perspective, because it showed their personalities. My friends who are writing this story are Allie and Jacky. Allie is a really crazy hyper person, and Jacky is more calm, they are like yin and yang in a way, because they are very different. They started out the story with a short description of each of the characters. Each of the descriptions were a line or two long, except for the hot senior Allie likes, who got like a paragraph on how he is so cute, but stupid and vain, or something like that. Allie's description said something like, "Allie is a fun girl, who is very hyper and you may think she is on drugs." Jacky's description said something about how all of the guys love her, especially her hot asian boyfriend (who may or may not know her in real life). They had a couple more descriptions, and they included me in it. I think it was kind of a sad description, based on the fact that I am friendly and a little obvious at times. My description said something like "A flirt who flirts with all the guys," which I guess means that by not ignoring everyone I am a flirt. Reading through the other descriptions I found one of my kinda friends (who is a little bit creepy) who's description read "A super creepy perv who Allie and Jacky are creeped out by because he is a PERV,"or something along those lines.

After the descriptions of all the people, the actual story started. It talked about how hot Allie and Jacky are and how hot their make believe boyfriends are. It was very entertaining to read. I want to tell you more about it, but maybe I will post part of the actual story they are writing when Allie emails it to me.

Wow, I was writing this at like 6:30, but I am now just finishing. I actually stopped writing this at like 6:30, because I had to go somewhere. Someone I know was talking at something tonight, and I decided to go and see the whole fireside(If you're not mormon, a fireside is like church kind of, but they are usually pretty fun.. not that I would really know since I have gone to almost none). The fireside was interesting, and everyone there was really friendly even though they had no clue who I was. 

I sat down behind this family who looked pretty young, they had a son who looked about two or three. The little boy waved at me, so I waved back. He smiled and laughed, so I made a face at him. He pointed to the wall behind me, so I turned around and acted like there was something amazing there. This went on for a while, and it made me a lot less nervous about being surrounded by strangers. The person who I went to see was speaking, and was about halfway through their talk when I think they saw me. They were defiantly surprised to see me, but it was kind of cool to hear them speak. I went up to them after and I got to meet their family, who were all really nice. Going to a church building where I didn't know anyone was defiantly out of my comfort zone, but I am kind of glad I did, because it was interesting (and who doesn't think a giggly three year old playing peek-a-boo is adorable?). Sorry, that is random, but it was kind of cool and I can't really explain to you how or why it was so cool to me. I guess that is stepping out of your comfort zone.

Well, happy Sunday night, one week 'til spring break!

This is What Midterms Does

NOTE: I understand that this was written when I was mad, so it's not exactly fair to everyone (okay, not fair to anyone), so I thought I should tell you that I love my family and we get along very well... just not the best when everyone is sick. I may have exaggerated some of this in my head, so it is not fair and don't quote me on it. I should not blog when I am upset I guess.

Wow, I did the whole thing for the falcon forum today, but I didn't publish it because I thought I might want to make some kind of change later. I left the computer because my family was watching a movie. My parents are both sick, so I made dinner. I decided to make BLTs, which are a bacon lettuce tomato sandwiches. Eliza, my seven year old sister, wanted to help, but got mad when I told her she was going to burn herself with the bacon. I didn't tell her not to make the bacon, I handed her a fork to flip it, but she ran away crying and told on me. Then she stomped back over for one last manifestation of her anger. After that she left and evidently got on the computer, and I guess no matter how much I tell her how she can open a new window she doesn't care or understand or something, because she exited out of what I was on and got onto some kind of barbie website. Meanwhile I made dinner.
As soon as dinner was ready everyone came in the kitchen. Here is about how it went:

Mom: Who's ready for dinner?
Dad: I don't know if I want to eat it. Oh, poor boy, (to my dog) do you need to go outside? The fire alarm is probably going to go off.
Eliza: It's too smoky in here. (covers her mouth and nose)
Me: Sorry, it's a little smoky in here, cause I made bacon. It's not that bad.
Dad: Except it's killing the poor dog.
Mom: If the fire alarm was going to go off, it would have by now, it's okay.

Dad: Isn't there anymore bread than this?
Me: No.
Dad: Why don't you check?
Me: I did. There is no more bread.
Dad: I am pretty sure there is. Check in the freezer.
Me: Okay.
...
Me: There is none in the freezer.
Mom: Are you sure? I thought there was...
Dad: Well you can make half a sandwich
Me: No. I don't want a sandwich it's okay.
Eliza: I don't want to eat this (Well I am not sure where exactly in the conversation she said that actually)
Dad:  There is no more tomato than this?
Me: No.
Adrienne (my 10 year old sister): I'm hungry mom, what should I eat?
...
(My mom is able to get up and come to the table)
Mom: You really got the brunt of making dinner didn't you Skittles? I'm sorry about that. Thank you for making dinner.
Dad: What do you mean?
Mom: Well she had to make dinner, then no one says thank you and everyone is negative
Dad: I don't think that's true
Mom: I don't want to eat this, it's too smoky in here. I'm hungry, this is gross, where is the bread? Aren't there anymore tomatoes? She spent time to make this and no one has said thank you or said anything nice about it. Thank you for this dinner.
Dad: I think it's also just how phrase it that's negative.
Mom: Do you want to say thank you too?
Dad: yeah, in a second.
Adrienne: Thanks, I like it.
Dad: Thank you, this is good.
Me: No problem. (grudgingly)

I am done today. That is my thesis statement. I am so done and ready to not be super stressed. I am done with finding my assignments and important websites closed out of because of a barbie game. I am ready for  spring break, so bring it on. I am so ready to have my constant headache gone for a while. There is so much to do it seems like, and I am not ready to do it right now. I really want to just relax and hang out with my friends, but I am too done to even worry about that. I don't want yet another person yelling at me and Allie because of their problems with who we invited. I just want to tell them that if it is such a big problem for them, why don't they not come, or better yet, why don't they do something about it so that it seems better to them. Yes, this is my rant today. Tomorrow it will all be good, I will be telling you that today was great, but for right now, I am a little bit ticked off (just in case you haven't noticed). Also, I do actually get along with my family, tonight was a bad example of how our household works. And now, I will end with a quote I heard today, "Sometimes God calms the water, sometimes he calms the sailor....And sometimes you swim." Life isn't perfect and sometimes you just have to stick it out. This week was a just stick it out week.

Why Blogs Are Not Made Write Essays, and Heart Dissection.

I know, I didn't post before, so I am doing double this week. I even started a post, but didn't publish it! So, Mr. Thompson keeps saying that we need to post about our thoughts, not our lives, but I keep ignoring him. I don't like the whole "find something random to write about, ready, go!"idea. That might surprise you because I jump around and always like to talk or write about things that seem random to you, but they make sense to me. I don't like being told to make something up, so I stick to talking about my week. I think I will finally give in a little bit and not write just about my week, although admittedly that is mostly because I just don't want to tell you about it. Mr. Thompson said that it is more interesting to hear about our thoughts and that there is only so much of hearing our own personal diaries he can handle, but to be honest, I feel the opposite. I would rather hear about what people are doing and what's going on then hear an essay. I get that your thoughts are not always essays, but sometimes they are (sorry if you're offended, this doesn't pertain to everyone, but you know who you are). People don't seem to want to let people see everything about them, so sometimes they write things that tell absolutely nothing about them just for the sake of filling up the 500 words requirement (and yes, I know that I am very guilty of that myself). I would rather hear about what happened this week that was so unique and strange, than what your thoughts on global warming are. If nothing cool is happening then yeah it makes sense to talk about whatever, but by writing a persuasive essay every week you start to write the same thing, and honestly it does get boring sometimes. I am not saying everyone does this, but it is just a pattern I have noticed. I think that writing about what weird happened this week keeps it more fresh than writing about something that you are less than passionate about, but you can use 500 words to say it. I may be wrong, if you hate my blog than I get it, maybe you are the opposite of me and really do not care about hearing the random detail of peoples' lives and would rather hear their deep personal thoughts. I get that, it makes sense, I like the concept, but I feel like I get a better understanding of people and how they think by what they do rather than reading a story that has nothing to do with them.
I like the best when I can read about something that happened this week and I can recognize who is writing it and who they are writing about, it keeps it interesting and holds my attention. I want to hear about what you did this weekend and about what crazy thing your friend did (as long as you actually did do something this weekend that is interesting and your friend did do something insane, not just faking something to make yourself sound cooler or what ever). I have realized that with reading things like this blog here, there is nothing actually happening keeping it going and leaving you on edge, so I don't want to read it. I find myself starting to read blogs that sound like this, with no stories or people, but then start skimming and soon just leaving to read another post. I don't want to read about a book review, I can go to goodreads for that, I am on your  blog because I want to read about your life and thoughts, not about a book you were assigned to read. Don't get me wrong, I like hearing a little bit about what you think about the books you are reading, but that's not the same as just reading a review you wrote. A review tells me about the themes in the book and about what happens, but the main part is about the book, not you. Telling what you think about a book is the exact opposite, it tells mostly about you and your thoughts on the book, but it does mention what the book is about. I am great with hearing about this great book, but again, I can read reviews any where, I am here for your thoughts and life, not the book.
 I really don't mean to offend anyone, I am not writing this to any specific person, I am just writing it because Mr. Thompson has told us why he wants us to write about one thing, so I thought I should say what I think is interesting to hear. I love hearing your thoughts, I think it is great to not have a story or tell about your day every single time, but if you don't have anything you are dying passionate to tell everyone, it seems like a more interesting choice than copying one of your geography articles to count as your 500 words. This is a blog to help you discover what you like to write about and to express your thoughts, not just an assignment that is due every week. It is not bad to post about an essay you write (if you liked it and have strong feelings about it) sometimes, I am just saying that I prefer hearing about your life and friends over your essay on the black death.

Now, if you are not bored to death or offended, you get to hear about my science project. (I know you were just thinking, "Oh joy!" but I promise it is not one of those essays I was just ranting about, I am not that much of a hypocrite and I actually did enjoy it enough to want to write about it.)
For science term projects we had multiple choices, I decided on what seemed like it would take the least about of effort or time, so I decided to go to the Expanding Your Horizons workshop thing. My mom did not agree because it was too far, so I decided to do the medical workshop over reading a book. Something about me you should know is I HATE IVs, I don't even like shots anymore because I hate IVs so much. When I was little I used to look forward to getting shots, but now it actually makes me gag. Even seeing someone's veins makes me a little sick. There is a whole back story about why I hate IVs and all of my fun experiences with them, but I will save that for another week. Hearing we would get to give a pig stitches and dissect a heart was almost to much for me. I could only thing of IVs and seeing the vains in the heart and pig foot, so I almost just said no and was going to accept an F in science. I ended up going and as soon as I got in I saw Pink Lady. I was a little bit more relaxed because I knew I would have a friend, but I was still a little bit sick to my stomach thinking about veins bursting and how much it would hurt to have your veins cut (as you can see I would not be a good emo).
I sat down in one of the chairs and saw the pig foot in front of me. I tried to watch the guy demonstrating how to do stitches, but I didn't understand. I asked for help and he agreed, although somewhat reluctantly and annoyed. He told me how I was supposed to hold the needle, but it was different since I am left handed. "Are you SURE your a lefty?" he asked me a few times. After he was convinced that I was a lefty he tried to tell me how I was holding the needle wrong. After trying to explain it for about 30 seconds he took the needle and just did it for me, but since I was a lefty he did it wrong. When we finally got it all sorted out he left immediatly. The only problem was I didn't actually understand anything he had said, so I was at a loss. I tried watching other people and heard him get annoyed with the girl next to me for not knowing how, so I eventually got it. It started to be almost fun after the first few stitches. By the end I was in the zone and was making sure that there was a stitch in every possible space. I was sad to leave the pig feet, but we still had the heart dissection to go to.
I got to sit by Pink Lady for the heart dissection and it was interesting. I tried to not throw up with the veins I saw, and after a minute I adjusted. I was kind of interested in how the heart worked and it looked really cool. We had a medical student come and show us how it worked and cut it apart. The medical student let everyone touch it, but only the two people directly by it ended up touching it. I wanted to touch it and see how it worked, but I didn't want to interrupt her or make her stop talking so I just watched. After she (the medical student) left the heart for a minute to answer questions I gave in and decided that it would not be disruptive to touch it. I was amazed at how cool it was. After a minute I asked the girl next to me (who happened to be right in front of the heart) if I could use the scapel for a second. I started cutting something to get a better look and one of the four girls who had come from my school for the workshop came over to touch it too. When the girl from my school came over Pink Lady and the other girl came over too. It was a lot of fun to look at it and figure out about it from actually seeing the real thing instead of a diagram, but sadly I looked over and the medical student looked annoyed because as soon as she had gone everyone came over, oh well, that is kind of to be expected.
Pink Lady and the other two girls sat down after a minute, but I was just getting started. I personally had a blast looking at the heart and it seemed really cool. Maybe I am not as IV/veinphobic as I thought I was. Yesterday was pretty awesome, the workshop was way more fun than I thought it would be. To end this blog post here are some pictures of the heart and pig's feet. Sadly this is not my pig's foot, but mine looked mostly like it, just a little more Frankenstein. I would show you the pictures of me and more pictures of the heart, but I still don't know how to get pictures from my phone to the computer, so these are the pictures form one of the other girls at my school.