(Sorry, I am breaking this up into a few unrelated sections, stay with me. I will do the writing in different colors and break up the stories with "~~~" so you can know when I am moving on...)
To start off, here is another quote, which was written in a persuasive essay from my mom to Taylor and was one of the foot notes(don't ask, it's a long story). It was the reference for a fact that she completely made up and said, "I
made this up, but if I post it on the Internet, it might make it
true." This may or may not be a true quote, but it was funny... and kind of true, people would believe that dancing will lower DUIs and higher ACT scores if you posted it online.
I just read a few of my posts, wow I have changed, and those memories came back. Funny how you can forget the order events take place, or forget that one week you hated the world and everyone in it. In one of the posts it spent half the time talking about bagels (even though I actually don't like bagels); in another it hints that something bad happened, but I never actually say what happened; in still another I got to see when I was still figuring out blogger and half my blog was highlighted white and the other half was gray.
Someone told me I should follow up on my "conforming to nonconformism" post this week, but I don't know quite how. I could elaborate on details, but that seems a tad redundant, so I think I might just move on. I have been worrying about what I could say more on Nonconformism, but most of it is just dark and useless, plus a little weird usually.
~~~
I wanted to post a little on how stupid the school dress code is, and how it is not enforced well. This week was the THIRD time I have gotten in trouble for clothing, and it was pretty stupid. First let me explain that I have worn shorts to school that have gotten some kind of comment like, "have you gotten in trouble for your shorts yet?" from several people. Shorts are okay I guess, but my shirts aren't. I have worn the same kinds of shirt for a while and not gotten in trouble. Shirts that have holes or a translucent cardigan over it, and never gotten in trouble. They are never provocative or suggest anything bad; and to be honest, they seem a lot better to me than the skirts I see some girls wear that show their underwear clearly. They are defiantly better in my mind than the very provocative shirts I see some girls wear. They can wear things that I don't even feel comfortable seeing them in, and I don't have issues with people wearing almost nothing. How is it that I can wear something that shows a little bit of my back and get in trouble, but someone can wear a shirt that shows their chest and is low cut and not get in trouble. This year is the first time I have gotten in trouble. The funny part is that is is always like a long sleeve shirt with a high neck line, but it somehow doesn't fit dress codes.
The dress codes allow for some people to slip under the radar and wear whatever they want, but get other people in trouble who aren't causing any problems. You can wear a tube too to school with a jacket over it and it is fine, but my sleeves need to be longer because you can see part of my shoulder under my jacket? There is a girl who I see that wears shirts where you can see her shoulders but she doesn't get punished for it.
I saw a nice looking girl in the office getting in trouble for a hole in her jeans, but she shouldn't be, the jeans looked fine. The dress code is not fair, if you are going to have a strict dress code that is one thing, but you can't let some people slip under the radar, especially if they wear something like that every day. It is stupid and makes no sense. It is like police pulling over someone who is going a mile over the speed limit because they haven't met their ticket quota for the day, but they let a speeding car going 20 miles over go by and don't notice a thing.
~~~
I haven't said much about my week recently, so I am going to try and say something about what has actually been going on. Last month I met my new BFF Emma, she is friends with a girl from swim named Jacky, and she is really nice, so now we are going to be BFFs we decided. She is going to be a Lancer next year too, so I am starting to get excited about High School. I really hope we have classes next year and are friends.
Last weekend my sisters had an ice skating show. Adrienne (who is 10) had a solo, which means that now she is one of the older girls. She was so excited and I think she had a lot of fun. She did a group number called Black and White and a solo called Yellow. She looked amazing, she can do some really cool spins and almost has her axel I think. Getting your axel is a huge deal, there are two main groups of people, the older girls who have it, and the girls who don't, Adrienne is about to make the leap and become one of the girls that has it. She looked so good in her solo and was really happy, which is great.
Eliza (who is 7) had her group dances, and she looked great too. Her dances were Little Red Riding Hood and Elephant Walk or something like that. After the show everyone got to swim, and there I met Jane. Jane is going to be a Lancer next year too, and I have met her before, but have talked to her very little. She was really friendly and nice to me even though she didn't really know me. Meeting new people is making me more excited to go to high school.
Taylor and I have hardly any classes together, but we still see each other after school. Her sister loves to hate me. Her sister walked up to my locker this week just to tell me that I was stupid. She also tells me on a regular basis that no one likes me, and Taylor is just my friend because she feels bad for me. She always pushes me, so taylor tries to walk between us, which just means more Taylor gets hurt when her sister tries to shove me. Her sister also full on body slammed me on friday... I am going to miss school and Taylor's little sister always finding some cleaver way to insult me.
I am going to miss my teachers a little next year. Nothing like walking into a class two minutes late and having the teacher look at you, notice you don't want to talk about it, then just go on and not say a word about you being late (this teacher makes it a big deal when you are late). Also, it seems like my teachers this year know me more than any other year. My teachers know my personality and it is going to be kind of sad to leave them all. I know they don't really care usually, but I think a few of them took notice of me. English will never be as fun as it was this year because there is no guarantee I will have Taylor in my class and a teacher that is okay with people having fun in class as long as they get their work done.
One more week, plus the last week that doesn't really count, and it is all over. I am on the fence between sad and excited. I actually like school right now, not all of it, but some of it! On the other hand I am ready to move on, done with some of the people there. I am sure all of the people in my grade feel somewhat similar to this at one degree or another.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Conforming to Nonconformity
Announcing that you're a nonconformist is the same as telling me that you a conformist. It's one thing to be unique and be yourself, but it is something else to try really hard to be something that you're not. The real nonconformists in the world never say that they are nonconformists, they just are different, and most people around them stay far away. The real nonconformists don't try to be nonconformists, they just are.
More and more people I know are trying too hard to be different. Everyone wants to be a free spirit, everyone wants to be original and think differently from those around them, but the truth is this- trying to be different is what everyone is doing, and has been doing for thousands of years, so get over it. You are not the first one to see civil injustice, so don't be so proud of yourself for noticing it, you aren't the chosen one or super genius for pointing it out. You are not the first person to see that things in the world aren't perfect, but going on and on is just annoying sometimes. If these same people were out volunteering after school, instead of just complaining, I would respect their opinion, but they aren't looking for the good around them, or contributing to it, they just whine. If they did as much as they talked, we would have a great world. Everyone would be Nelson Mandala.
In English class, we are reading a book called Stargirl. Stargirl is loveable, she is different, unique, and doesn't care what anyone thinks. She is loud and bubbly and wears crazy clothes. For a while, everyone around her loves her, but then they just get tired of her. Stargirl doesn't change when people get tired of her, because she is being herself, but if most people acted like that, they would stop as soon as people got tired of it because all they really want is attention. Trying to get a shock factor from everything you do is not being a nonconformist, Stargirl didn't try to get a shock factor, but sometimes she shocked people anyway.
One "nonconformist" told me recently that everything wrong with her life is because she lives in Utah. She said something like, "it is just Utah, the Mormons are the problem because EVERYONE but me is Mormon." Well, I just don't think that whatever is wrong with your life is all someone else's fault because of their religion. And, the truth is, Mormons have a right to be here too. They were driven out their houses in Illinois and Missouri by gunpoint and WALKED here so they could practice their religion without the threat of violence. My ancestors took a six week boat trip from England to America and then walked to Utah to farm a piece of desert land. Ever seen 17 Miracles? Watch that and tell me if Mormons have a right to live in Utah. Seriously, if the Mormon neighbors going to church and baking cookies are ruining your life, you need to get a life. YOU need to stop worrying about what other people are doing.
Things are not perfect anywhere, and yes, Utah is kind of like a bubble sometimes, but is that always a bad thing? From going to Space Camp (I know, I am such a nerd, but yeah..) I met a lot of people from all over the country. I made some really good friends, and met other people I didn't like at all. In general, Utah boys are more.. respectful. The boys at Space Camp often had little respect for girls or women, and they treated us horribly. There were a lot of nice boys too, but they looked at girls differently than the people from where I live do. They treated girls like objects; I couldn't walk down the hallway without a boy making a sexual comment. Sometimes I didn't even feel safe because of it.
When I got back home I was shocked by how nice everyone is and how the boys didn't say or do any of the things some of the camp boys did. This is a generalization and is not meant to reflect on all boys, but I wanted to make the point that a lot of times, a bubble is meant to protect you, which for the time being, I am MORE than fine with. Whether you live here, or somewhere else, your life is not ruled by the people around you- your life is yours. Go move to Texas if you like, but guess what? It won't be much different being surrounded by a baptist preacher instead of an LDS bishop. And if you hate people of every religion? Go move to a communist country (or the moon).
In our school there is only one person I see as a nonconfomist in it's true meaning. That person I will call Stephanie. Stephanie doesn't care what you do or say. She does what she wants and doesn't follow social rules. She is her own person. You don't all love her or give her any attention. She wears black and is teased for how she looks and acts. She thinks everyone is an idiot, and everyone seems to feel the same about her. She isn't trying to be popular in a different group of people than the normal "popular" group, she is trying to live how she wants.
This has gotten her in trouble a lot, telling people just what she thinks of them. It is a two way thing though, people make fun of her and laugh, and she calls them morons. This year by saying hi to her and being nice I have seen her smile. She wants friends, she just doesn't know how. Today on the way back from home room in the portables we were talking and a snake slithered across my foot. She screamed, but I think it made her loosen up a bit. She started talking about how funny it was and how scary, and it was enjoyable. She is as close to a nonconformist out of everyone I know. She is lonely, but she isn't going to change for you, so nonconformity is not quite as glamorous as you want it to be.
More and more people I know are trying too hard to be different. Everyone wants to be a free spirit, everyone wants to be original and think differently from those around them, but the truth is this- trying to be different is what everyone is doing, and has been doing for thousands of years, so get over it. You are not the first one to see civil injustice, so don't be so proud of yourself for noticing it, you aren't the chosen one or super genius for pointing it out. You are not the first person to see that things in the world aren't perfect, but going on and on is just annoying sometimes. If these same people were out volunteering after school, instead of just complaining, I would respect their opinion, but they aren't looking for the good around them, or contributing to it, they just whine. If they did as much as they talked, we would have a great world. Everyone would be Nelson Mandala.
In English class, we are reading a book called Stargirl. Stargirl is loveable, she is different, unique, and doesn't care what anyone thinks. She is loud and bubbly and wears crazy clothes. For a while, everyone around her loves her, but then they just get tired of her. Stargirl doesn't change when people get tired of her, because she is being herself, but if most people acted like that, they would stop as soon as people got tired of it because all they really want is attention. Trying to get a shock factor from everything you do is not being a nonconformist, Stargirl didn't try to get a shock factor, but sometimes she shocked people anyway.
One "nonconformist" told me recently that everything wrong with her life is because she lives in Utah. She said something like, "it is just Utah, the Mormons are the problem because EVERYONE but me is Mormon." Well, I just don't think that whatever is wrong with your life is all someone else's fault because of their religion. And, the truth is, Mormons have a right to be here too. They were driven out their houses in Illinois and Missouri by gunpoint and WALKED here so they could practice their religion without the threat of violence. My ancestors took a six week boat trip from England to America and then walked to Utah to farm a piece of desert land. Ever seen 17 Miracles? Watch that and tell me if Mormons have a right to live in Utah. Seriously, if the Mormon neighbors going to church and baking cookies are ruining your life, you need to get a life. YOU need to stop worrying about what other people are doing.
Things are not perfect anywhere, and yes, Utah is kind of like a bubble sometimes, but is that always a bad thing? From going to Space Camp (I know, I am such a nerd, but yeah..) I met a lot of people from all over the country. I made some really good friends, and met other people I didn't like at all. In general, Utah boys are more.. respectful. The boys at Space Camp often had little respect for girls or women, and they treated us horribly. There were a lot of nice boys too, but they looked at girls differently than the people from where I live do. They treated girls like objects; I couldn't walk down the hallway without a boy making a sexual comment. Sometimes I didn't even feel safe because of it.
When I got back home I was shocked by how nice everyone is and how the boys didn't say or do any of the things some of the camp boys did. This is a generalization and is not meant to reflect on all boys, but I wanted to make the point that a lot of times, a bubble is meant to protect you, which for the time being, I am MORE than fine with. Whether you live here, or somewhere else, your life is not ruled by the people around you- your life is yours. Go move to Texas if you like, but guess what? It won't be much different being surrounded by a baptist preacher instead of an LDS bishop. And if you hate people of every religion? Go move to a communist country (or the moon).
In our school there is only one person I see as a nonconfomist in it's true meaning. That person I will call Stephanie. Stephanie doesn't care what you do or say. She does what she wants and doesn't follow social rules. She is her own person. You don't all love her or give her any attention. She wears black and is teased for how she looks and acts. She thinks everyone is an idiot, and everyone seems to feel the same about her. She isn't trying to be popular in a different group of people than the normal "popular" group, she is trying to live how she wants.
This has gotten her in trouble a lot, telling people just what she thinks of them. It is a two way thing though, people make fun of her and laugh, and she calls them morons. This year by saying hi to her and being nice I have seen her smile. She wants friends, she just doesn't know how. Today on the way back from home room in the portables we were talking and a snake slithered across my foot. She screamed, but I think it made her loosen up a bit. She started talking about how funny it was and how scary, and it was enjoyable. She is as close to a nonconformist out of everyone I know. She is lonely, but she isn't going to change for you, so nonconformity is not quite as glamorous as you want it to be.
Being yourself is great, be unique and special and great in your own way, but make it true. Trying too hard to be strange and different is not different at all. I appreciate genuine people; if you fit in, great! And if you don't fit it, great! I'm just glad that you are yourself. I am not the only one who thinks this, I am not the first, nor am I the last, I know. This is not a new thought, but it is something that I want to say to people every time they try to be different or say "I am so weird!" or anything like that. By trying to be a nonconformist, you are being a conformist, to impress some group of people, which makes your whole effort a waste. Thanks for reading, hope I didn't offend you. But if I did, well... too bad...
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Nurture vs Nature
"People say we have so much in common: You're amazing, and I am amazed by everything you do."
-Patty Fiasco (All of those lines that resonate have me thinking about quotes, so I thought I'd share the one that has been stuck in my head all day.)
When I got home I was thinking about it, and I decided if it looked really gross today that I would go up to Luke and try and gross him out. I realized that only I do that, most people don't go up to random people and try to freak them out. Who else does that often? Migi. It took me a second, but she does that exact same thing. Migi is in seventh grade and tries to freak people out a lot, maybe more than me. She will go up to me in the hall and start talking to me, or yelling, or start introducing me to her friends. Once she saw one of my friends in the hall and yelled, "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!" She also tells me that my friends are freaks, and that I am a freak for liking my friends, because they are freaks. She is very competitive and feisty, and she does things that no one else does.
She was on the cruise with me during spring break, and on the plane trip to california we had the same flight. At the airport she came up to me and said "Look at my thumb! I cut it yesterday, see how gross it looks?!" She said it about the same way as I say that when I hurt myself and it looks gross. What she does sometimes is freakishly similar to what I do, and I don't even see her everyday. What is strange is the fact that I don't see her everyday, so it's not nurture. We don't live in the same house with the same parents or siblings, but we are similar. When Adrienne acts the same kind of way I do I can say that she is used to seeing me do that, Migi however probably doesn't even remember living with me ever.
So how much of your personality is nurture and how much is nature? With Migi I notice a lot of similarities to me, but I also notice similarities to Roo. Roo is the same age as me and lives with Migi. How ever inaccurate this may be, I take it as a little sample of nurture vs nature. See, I am the one (between Roo and me) who is more likely to yell randomly and try to scare people; but Roo is the one who tells everyone (Okay, usually tells me) that they are (or I am) a freak.
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